The Children Under the Stairs: The Foster Care System:

The Children Under the Stairs—

Going Beyond the Foster Care System:

After watching the movie The Blind Side, a movie based on a prolific true story about a African American young man whose mother was a drug user and he lived in the projects. A Caucasian family took interest in him becoming his legal guardians and groomed him to be one of the best players in the NFL.

After seeing the movie about Michael, I was bought to think about how many other Michaels there are in the world that comes from broken and/or dysfunctional homes. It was personal for me, as my little brother, who many would consider a very blessed young man, straight A’s, football and basketball. Even made it to “Whose Who”…My little brother is an example not an exemption. Although both my brothers and I were raised in a single parented home. I think about those who are like my brothers best friend Gerry, who does not have either parent…no mother nor a father.

Over the years after my parents marriage, I often times reflect on my father, him as a man and him as my father. His faults and the lessons I have learned from growing up with out him fully present in my life. As a young lady…it’s hard, creating basically a skeptical cynic from birth about life, love and relationships. Being a child on the receiving end of broken relationships…it’s tough. Yet, I am happy I had one parent even if the other messed up!

What about those living with no parents? Could you have live on your own 12 or 15? Each year, thousands of young people “age out” of the foster care system, many without family or economic supports. Without connection to a caring adult and support to plan and prepare, these youth face steep challenges, including higher rates of unemployment, poor educational attainment, health issues, incarceration, and homelessness.

When I first met my little brother friend, Gerry, who lives in foster care with six other foster children, now brothers and sisters, mother and father…where there was none before. I know Gerry has it hard. He said to me one day, “Ms. Fareeda, you should adopt…adopt a boy”…kind of threw me off, and after looking into his life a little deeper I begin to see why he said what he said….He was looking for a chance or to give someone else a chance and an opportunity at life.

Although a well, soft hearted, mild mannered very caring young man, who I come to love as my little brother…I learned that Gerry’s living conditions in foster care are no better than if he would be living in a shelter, alone…He has trouble in school. Even as a teen, he urinates on himself, and wreaks sometimes where my family and I have to make him wash up, and provide him new socks and under garments. He cannot help his situation. Not only has he lived in the refuse…the other children do as well. It breaks my heart. Gerry is a good kid and could very well be a great man. The young mind is so impressionable.

My point with this blog entry…how are these children being prepared for life? And what programs are people are tapping that potential?

In school, behaviorally and academically they are just passed along so teachers do not have to deal with them. The movie bought to light a scary reality for many children who reside within the walls, and subways of Philadelphia streets, a real reality for those children who live within the shelter and the foster system and are still not getting adequate care….

“Approximately 3,000 children come into out-of-home care in Philadelphia each year. Many of these children are placed in temporary foster care while the family and social workers work together to build upon a family’s existing strengths, address concerns, and when at all possible, reunite the children with their family in a safe, loving home.

Unfortunately, this is not always possible, and it is sometimes necessary to find another permanent placement option for a child – in many situations this means adoption.”(1)

Unfortunately every homeless and parentless child cannot be brought about like the movie. Gerry lives in conditions that groom him for doom. What is up with the foster system? Are there provisions in place to make sure foster parents are not just collecting checks from the government and actually taking care of the Gerry’s of the world? I’m not a parent yet after learning more about him, I am inclined to help others who are like him and live like him. Is the foster system preparing or breeding individuals for prison? Is the foster system flawed or are the folks adopting many children abusers of the system?

We know all children have aspirations, strengths and talents, and the potential to become fully participating citizens who contribute in a range of fields. Yet, the main challenges facing young people in foster care and in the welfare system are: (1) the culture of low expectations for those in care and (2) the lack of accountability or real motivation for success or failure. A principle challenge is changing the thinking and current practices prevent many from taking on individual responsibility for preparing for a future of successful independence.

Until that happens, most young people coming out of the foster care will not be prepared for college and meaningful careers. Too many will continue to end up homeless, jobless, and incarcerated, without the resources they need to become successful adults. The fate of these children depends wholly on the goodwill of the community and their personal ability to persevere.

http://dhs.phila.gov/intranet/pgintrahome_pub.nsf/content/Adoption (1)

Contact:
Fareeda Mabry


Life, Liberty and Neighborhoods First!

What Stinks About Philadelphia...? Is it the Economy or Attitudes?

Smiling is infectious. You can catch it like the flu.
When someone smiled at me today...I started smiling too!

I always loved that poem. Makes you wanna smile, and it is so true. Yet I find, in Philadelphia, this does not seem to hold the same truth. The streets are talking and Philadelphia is not the city that loves you back...

The City of Brotherly love has been named one of the most bloodiest cities, with murder rates and job-loss on the rise, no wonder everyone is on edge. I wonder, is or will Philadelphia ever be a great American city? Are our attitudes towards one another keeping us stagnant, and segregated? Or is it the challenges of the preceding economical conditions and we are stuck in a perpetual cycle?

I have heard the talk, Philadelphia is populated by a bunch of haters, backstabbers, gossipers, murderers, and judgmental racist? Isn't this true of everywhere in the world? Being a Philadelphian I understand. Yet, I also understand that these are issues are bigger than the current administration or any other administration. The problem may be the way Philadelphians mindsets are trained to view the world. the root cause of our current social, and economic decay. We can attribute today of the foundation of the post-Mayor Rizzo "off the cuff" era.

There was a lot of conflict with African Americans along with deliberate"block breaking" among the old Italians and Irish Catholic neighborhoods. Philadelphia is a generational city. Police brutality, nothing new. Crimes on police officers, nothing new....remember, people are still talking about Mumia Abu Jamal and Officer Daniel Faulkner. Some people who live on my small south Philadelphia street have remained in the same houses for over the last 20-30 years and have raised their families in the same household, sometimes even raising great grandchildren. Same house, and many times the same mentality for over 20 years. Now in 2009, people still carry those same attitudes.

I remember one 70ish Italian lady on the 47 bus, told me "I hope your not going down 9th and Washington, its like Vietnam down there, not like the good ole days, you never know what you are getting"...Philadelphia is about the tried and true, one thing I love about our city and that is one thing I hate....some things like the negative attitudes we have to let go. For me, I love the Italian Market. Where else can I get a huge bag of Italian rolls for 50 cents?
CHANGE is what Barack Obama and many other great leaders before him spoke of...

Einstein says it best, "You cannot change a problem with the same mind that created it, you must change your way of thinking in order to solve the problem". How do you cease the blatancy of hate among the people and political divides with the elected and the community?

Depends on who you ask? Knowing many people from diverse walks of life, I am very sensitive to others, how they live, how they think, how they learn etc...People are different. God called us all from the boat to be someone, whether it be mother, doctor, or repairman.

Do Philadelphians not understand those differences that make up who we are? Philadelphia residents make up our administrations, political leaders, policy makes, and movers and shakers. From a sociological perspective, an unbalanced government maybe causing our unbalanced minds, as humans we are not immune to our environment.

Like we are what we eat, that also comes from family lives, friends, associations etc... Or are resources so scarce certain classes and groups are excluded or blocked through bureaucratic and systematic barriers, needs go unmet, unaddressed, or undeserved because of the declining conditions and that causes a stressful situation?

Philadelphia's attitude separates more than it integrates us, economically and politically. The stress and embitterment you see in your daily travels could very well stem from the mindset embedded throughout our history, taught in our schools, in our homes, practiced in our courts, and housed within our government.

This is reflected in our consistent economical struggles and historical political play to pay mentality keeping our city in stagnation. Its not just African American nor a Caucasian thing, its a Philadelphia thing. What makes us "hate" one another? My friends who are not from here are the happiest, and then within 2-3 years, if not sooner...they are ready back home or to another city. Are we really that bad! And they are the ones who generally have a better attitude toward life in general.

Even Rizzo's old neighborhood South Philadelphia has transformed to reflect a microcosm of the world, Hispanics, Asians, and African Americans from all walks of life, newly transplanted live alongside those who have been there for a generation. Change is inevitable. The mind reflects reality. Thoughts become actions. Yet, if those same folks you see and label "haters" are the ones controlling a system with a foundation built on conflict, division, racism, hatred...we are still in trouble as a city!!! Solving the problem starts with yourself.
At 31, I have seen it on many different levels. My own experiences, trials and tribulations have taught me a lot...Philadelphia can be very oppressive, with an eccentric overall personality...Philly there is no place like it, and it has its little nuggets of beauty. Philadelphians have so lot in common, cheesesteaks, our love for arts, parks, parades, the Phillies, the Eagles... Philadelphia as a city and those who reside here undeniably test your strength. The key: Never go too deep in shallow situations. Don't be part of the problem, be part of the solution. Maneuver beyond the crab in the barrel, small town-big town mentality by always being your own person. Be the change you wish to see. Spread the sunshine, say hello and smile even when others are not! Be positive when others are negative, and treat others the way you would like to be treated!

Fareeda "TheMaverick" Mabry